“If you want to go fast, go alone, If you want to go far, go together.”
African proverb
My Childhood Friends on Elm Street:
Summers and after-school days were filled with outdoor pursuits and I had dozens of girls and boys for playmates, including siblings and cousins. Five friends lived next door, and several of my grade-school classmates lived further along, as did kids who went to other schools. We skipped, jumped rope, roller-skated, played hopscotch, rode scooters and raced bikes on the sidewalks. We played stick-ball, red light, green light and red rover in the lightly-trafficked road. Vacant lots served for adventure hikes, and the entire neighborhood gave us space for hide ’n seek. Backyards were for cartwheels, swings, and talent shows presented in front of bedsheet curtains hung from clotheslines. We shared the excitement of the ice cream truck’s jingle, and we raced around together amidst the soft evening glow of lightning bugs. Through our play, we learned to negotiate, share, test rules, and get along. However, not all of the kids were my close friends. The neighborhood bully, a boy several years older than me, made me nervous, as did the voice of his violent, alcoholic father. His little brother who sat on their stoop and continually rocked back and forth puzzled me. In retrospect, I realize that those kids were abused and suffering. When a new family moved in next door, I was exposed to a new language—Italian. Though hard to understand, the two boys about my age were friendly and expressive. The varied personalities and learning experiences of my early years created a training ground for navigating the larger world as I grew older.
The Club:
The same year I started high school, we moved to a new neighborhood that had few kids my age. My new friends were at my all-girls school, and the ones I became closest with were a group of eight who were honor students like myself. We called ourselves The Club. We didn’t have meetings and we weren’t mean and exclusive. Mostly we ate lunch together in the cafeteria, gathered together at the Friday night dances at the boys’ school, and had occasional sleepovers where we’d discuss boys, future plans, and boys. After graduation, we drifted off to different colleges and slowly lost touch, but those girls made high school memorable for me in a good way.
Walker Park Tennis Club:
During those same high school years, my new neighborhood had facilities that introduced me to tennis. A several block walk would take me to the Walker Park Tennis Club, part of a public park run by New York City. Built in 1934, it had six clay courts and a Tudor-style clubhouse with lockers, showers, refreshments, and outdoor tables on a stone patio. My dad first took me there and taught me the game. Every spring, I would buy a permit, and I signed up for lessons with a group of other teens and participated in a few tournaments. It was a sport I loved and took with me into adulthood, and it was at Walker Park that I had my first date with my husband playing tennis.
Boxford Couples Club:
After we married, my husband and I moved to Boxford, Massachusetts, and we made friends with neighbors who had young children like we did. Along with eight other couples, we formed our own Couples Club. Once a month, one duo would host a dinner at their home for the whole group, which meant they’d get to be a guest at the other homes for the next eight months—a nice way of spreading out the responsibility. Not only was it less expensive than going out to restaurants, a bonus for young couples starting out, it was a relaxing to hang out with friends in their home environments.
Informal Classes and Get-togethers in Europe:
We left Boxford and the couples’ club temporarily, when my husband’s job took us to Italy. Since nothing says Italy quite as much as good food, one year I joined a small group of women for Italian cooking classes. There were four of us and we met once a week for about six weeks with Marianna at her apartment in Napoli. In her kitchen, she’d prepare a meal , we’d take notes, and then we’d all enjoy lunch. She always poured us glasses of Montepulciano d’Abruzzo.
Italy has many international inhabitants and through friends, I met a French woman who offered to teach a few of us the ins and outs of French cuisine. We met at Jacquie’s home in the suburbs of Napoli for several weeks of watching, writing and tasting.
Several years later, we moved to Germany for several years and I met a group of three women who were fun friends. We got together many times to do aerobics in one woman’s apartment, had our “colors done” by a colorfully-dressed woman from Scotland, and went to the Munich apartment of a Chinese-American woman named Dinah for several sessions of Chinese cooking and eating.
Allied Arts Team:
After returning from Germany, I was hired to teach in a new middle school of technology. Since the various subjects I taught fell under the umbrella of Family Consumer Science, I was assigned to the school’s Allied Arts Team. There were ten of us and we rotated students, so that they had a different extra subject each day (music, art, family consumer science, tech ed, and physical education. We worked together coordinating events and we all participated in technology projects that gained some recognition. Our team presented at Macworld in Boston, did community television together, gave workshops for other school districts, and our curriculum is in the Smithsonian.
Writing Groups:
When I started working on my first book, it was a lone endeavor while I was living in Germany. It wasn’t until I was back in Massachusetts and saw a flyer at the Boxford General Store, that I joined my first writing group. It was called TWIG and four to six of us met monthly at the Topsfield, Massachusetts library. I also joined a writing group in Rangeley, Maine where we have a vacation home. The participants were a few locals and also part-time residents like me who came when we were in town. Both of those early groups were about perfecting craft through writing exercises. After that, I joined my first national professional organization, the Society for Childrens Book Writers and Illustrators. I now also belong to the local Florida SCBWI critique group. Next, I found a small group in Newburyport, Massachusetts called Children’s Writers By the Sea that was focused on critiquing manuscripts. They helped me get my second book to publication. Through them, I was introduced to Newburyport Writers, a larger more eclectic group that includes writers, publishers, editors, publicists and more. They have wonderful presentations and events that I still enjoy. One of the NW members encouraged me to join another professional organization, Sisters in Crime, which I did. I am a member of the national group, as well as the New England and Florida Treasure Coast groups. I am currently also a member of Palm Beach Gardens Fiction Writers.